Dissolving the block

I’ve had a block to writing for a really long time. It has shifted but the idea that was holding me back still weighs on my typing fingers now. I believed that I had nothing to say, nothing anyone would want to read. That’s not always true, sometimes I knew I had something to say, but it was never a priority; there was always other things I had to be getting on with.

I also believed that I had to have thought it all through; a final thesis on any given topic to present to the world, ready to withstand the scrutiny… should anyone read it.

And I resent the white men in my life (because it usually was white men) who wrote their ideas in an intellectual fervour and had the pamphlets printed before breakfast and people reading them by lunch.

I don’t really know exactly what it was that changed my mind. I talked about writing my ideas for a very long time and always received encouragement from friends. But the idea that really changed my mind was the idea that it didn’t have to be polished. And it could just be my own learnings, musings and sense-making. And it’s just for me really, to synthesis my own thoughts. But I’ll publish it just in case it tickles someone else’s fancy.

Bring all the criticism! Cause that’s how we develop our ideas: in connection with others.

So now I’m sharing this process just in case there’s someone who might happen upon it who’s experiencing the same block. I could write ‘JUST PUBLISH SOMETHING — ANYTHING!’ and highlight it as a key quote but having very recently been there, I know that won’t help. What I think might help is me doing it; that has helped me really feel like something was possible, nay, achievable, in the past.

PS. I’m not even gonna read through this. I’ve just written it and now I’m publishing it! Whoop.